Merry Christmas! We have been in Augusta, Georgia for over three years now, which is what we expected when we came back. While every letter is a reader’s digest of the year, this will be even more condensed, as we’re reporting two years in one (and you probably didn’t even notice the missing 2012 letter, did you?) No matter how we tried, we couldn’t condense it to our standard front-and-back letter, so this is an extended condensed version. Despite being in the same house for over three years, we have also experienced three changes in ward boundaries, which have especially influenced the callings Jay and Missy now hold at church. We’re in a ward that was clearly configured to get enough members to sustain a ward as well as have enough members from more stable neighborhoods to sustain it as it deals with the struggles of poverty in the downtown areas. The residents in our house have shifted as well, which you’ll see as you read on. Some of the major events that our family has experienced over the last two years include anything to do with Cub Scout and young boy scouts. (Between Josh, Elliott, Jay in Young Men’s and Missy in the Primary, there is no way around scouting.) Our family participated in a couple of fishing derbies on base, and enjoyed catching the bass they had stocked in the lakes. Josh got his fishing belt loop, Beth got the joy of catching her very first fish (which was also the biggest), and even Elliott managed to catch a few fish to prove that it wasn’t a total waste of time being outdoors. We have taken a couple of family trips, both just this year. Over spring break, we went down to Florida, where most of Missy’s extended family lives. Instead of their standard trip to Disney (as her whole family has also been employed there at one point or another), we went to LEGOLAND. We really enjoyed it. The park was perfectly sized and themed exactly for our kids. Two full days in the park, and we just barely got to all the sights. We also went after all the Florida schools had their breaks, and so there were virtually no lines. We rented a house for the week, and had a great time. The second trip was unplanned, for Grandpa Haderlie’s funeral. We don’t get to Wyoming as often as we’d like to, and despite the circumstances, being able to be with so many family was very nice. It is always great to see the beauty of the mountains in Star Valley. The longer Jay spends away from the country, the crazier he seems to get about needing to return to nature. Our family has taken on increasing camping trips, having found a very nice spot that is next to a lake on base. We went so far as to go camping ON and DURING Thanksgiving. Jay roasted the turkey over the fire, on a spit. We had all the trimmings, just camping style. While Jay thought it was a ball, it was just a tad cold for the rest of the family (claiming to see frost INSIDE the tent in the morning).
Jay
When the ward was last reorganized, Jay was automatically released from his calling as the ward’s Young Men’s President. Three days latter, he was called to be the second counselor in the stake Young Men’s Presidency. He’s learning a lot, and trying to help others apply some of the things he learned in his three stints in ward Young Men’s callings. This coming year, Jay will be involved in planning a bi-stake pioneer Trek, which will occur 30 December 2014 to 2 January 2015 (that’s when the camping weather is reasonable in the south). It will be both an interesting birthday and New Year. Over the last year, Jay was able to travel, as part of this calling, to Palmyra, New York, and Kirkland, Ohio, as part of the Stake’s Venturing program. Two 15-passenger vans, 5 adult leaders, 24 boys aged 15 to 18, and 2,000 miles over 6 days. (Ask him about it the next time you get a chance, there is a lot to share.) This calling has kept him regularly involved in scouting, as well. Jay is also responsible to attend and speak in other wards. Recently, Jay traveled to a small branch about 1 ½ hours away from home. Josh had invited some neighbors to church that day, and Missy was sick. So, Jay packed a lunch for everyone, and calls were placed to the Primary and Youth leaders that not only would Jay be speaking, but there would be 3 additional children in Primary (they normally have 2), and 1 Young Woman who had never been to church before. (The neighbor ended up in a 1-on-1 meeting with the Young Women’s president the entire third hour as there are no regularly attending Young Women in the branch. The neighbor really enjoyed it.) Most of the kids are looking forward to going back for another visit the future. We’ve been in very large wards all 11+ years of marriage, and the kids had never seen anything like it before. We believe that this was one of several experiences we had in answer to our Stake’s 3-month fasting to have missionary experiences where we would be able to invite someone to attend Sacrament Meeting with us. At work, Jay is still doing mostly the same thing: low-end middle-management (while looking forward to retirement, which is probably more than 2 years away). Jay was able to participate in a fund raiser at work where he dressed in drag…the kids hated it! He’s still keeping up his language skills, and discussion of what to do post-Air Force are becoming more and more frequent around the house, and using those skills often feature. Missy and Jay are both having a lot of “the grass is greener on the other side of the fence” right now, and we’re trying to not let it color our perspectives and our plans too much.
Missy
In 2011, we reported that Missy was looking into substitute teaching. While not very frequent at all, she has gotten some opportunities, learned a lot about what she likes and doesn’t like, and has occasionally made a few extra dollars in the process. Originally, she opened herself up to teach in any Elementary school that bordered the base. This included one school that was from a very rough neighborhood. One day in, substituting for a 2nd grad class, she had four different occasions of kids maliciously stabbing another with a pencil. Missy would send them to the office, and the office would send them back to class: “Sorry.” (That was her first and last day at that school). She has often been called to help in the Special Education classes, and those nearly break her heart. Her favorites, so far, have been Middle School and Art (where she gets to see a new batch of faces every hour or two). Missy has continued to tend our back-yard garden, and we have continued to enjoy the fruits of her labors. Each year she grows experiments, and each year, the same plants respond differently. We’ve had bumper crops of okra, cucumbers, zucchini, and tomatoes, with splashes of pumpkin, cantaloupe, strawberries, blueberries, carrots, green onions, chard, and an herb garden. Each year we continue to raise most of these in the straw bales. It wouldn’t work for anything large scale, but is just right for our small-ish back yard, and the requirement that we not destroy the sod. We did have one crop that was quite interesting, but totally unexpected, and rather useless in the end. According to Google, the nearly official name of this is “Dog Vomit Slime Mold”. It starts out looking very colorful, then it releases it spores, and then it crusts over, looking like a dog vomited. This all occurs in less than 12 hours. At church, Missy has been serving in the Primary. Recently, her Primary President was a young, 20-something college student with no kids, and Missy was the second counselor. Now, that student is going away for her internships, and Missy has been called to be the President. There are on average 60+ kids each week, at least 4 kids in the Primary that have never attended before, usually in the Junior Primary. And as we’re a “grass-roots” kind of ward, having consistent teachers is a challenge. Now it will be Missy’s turn to see if she can remedy some of those challenges, or if simply responding to the situation each week is the best she can hope for. Missy got a set of knitting needles and a knitting book a few years ago for Christmas. Her first project was a coin purse, which Jay used until it completely fell apart. She’s been working on her skills, and has begun “mystery” knits, where they send only portions of the pattern at a time, and never tell you what the final product is. She has also tried knitting socks – which is a lot harder than it looks, especially if you’re including the heel. It is one of her many handicraft hobbies, to keep her mind active (because heaven knows laundry and dishes are NOT exciting). After a few years here in Augusta, and with the kids getting a little older and more independent, Missy started up with a community orchestra playing the bassoon. She really enjoys it, and we hope she can stick with it the rest of the time we are here.
Michael (16)
Michael has been out of the house now for two years, living full-time with his Dad (across town). Despite the proximity geographically, we have only as much contact as we would expect if he lived in Oregon (or maybe even less). While normal, it has been tough in some ways, not being in regular contact. Currently, Missy talks to him on the phone about once a week. Michael was in the school play his first year at his new high school, and had the lead role as Count Dracula. (Michael was the understudy, but the primary couldn’t keep is grades up, so it was up to Michael to carry the play as a sophomore). This was his second school play, and he seemed to really enjoy it. After a year of regular school, he decided to try his hand at on-line public school. This is totally free, run by the state under the same system as the brick-and-mortar schools, but is done from home, on the computer. It has been beneficial in that Michael can work a bit more at his own pace, and it has given him to chance to study Japanese (which he far prefers over German). Michael is old enough now for a driver’s license, but needs a driver’s education class, and that is NOT one of the things he gets through the on-line school. The most consistent thing for Michael, which he reports to us, has been his involvement in fencing. He has really enjoyed it, and has progressed far enough to be invited to attend one or two tournaments. We have yet to see one, but we do hope to see him compete in the future. We enjoyed having him visit for the Josh and Elliott’s birthdays. Elliott was on cloud nine for a week after Michael invited him over to “just play and hang out” one Saturday this fall. We were also able to enjoy a short visit with him on Christmas Eve. We hope to have more face time with him in 2014.
Elliott (12)
Elliott is now a Deacon. He has been passing the sacrament every week, given a talk in sacrament meeting, and taught lessons in his quorum. This is a whole new level of responsibility for him at church, but he is ever so grateful that with the close of the year, he finishes his last day in Primary. He is so done with that. (Missy wonders when she’ll be done with that.) The year will also close out with our family traveling to the temple to have Elliott sealed to us. It will be a bitter-sweet event. Bitter, in that we’re still missing Michael, and that his living with us has always meant a broken home in his early childhood. Sweet, in that as we grow together, we’ll have the blessings of the Lord increased in our efforts. Since our last letter, Elliott had braces put on, and then taken off again. He still has a device he wears on his head at night to correct some growth in his chin, and he has retainers in the top and bottom. He still needs braces, but we’re waiting for the adult teeth to mostly grow in to see what comes of them, and what needs to be done to finish off the job. He played one summer on a little-league baseball team (which Josh decided to join, as well). Jay ended up being one of the coaches when the main coach quit, unannounced. Elliott would like to try baseball again, but is not any more athletically inclined than his dad. (Neither ever goes out to throw the ball, or just shoot hoops, for fun.) We are hoping to get him another round this coming summer. Elliott is in his 3rd year of violin with the school. The first year there is a MASSIVE group (they have to divide into two sections to even fit on the university stage). This year, there are maybe 40 student left from all over the county. He has progressed to the point that attending the concerts can now be about enjoying the presentation, and not just about showing up for support. Sticking with it is very tough for him, and each semester he goes through an emotional turmoil about whether he wants to do the work, but we’re very proud of what he is doing. He is also developing a skill at drawing, and we hope that in a couple of years, when regular art classes are offered at school, that he can take those and really progress in his skill.
Josh (10)
Josh is in his first round of braces. He should get them off in January 2014; an original six month plan extended to a year, and, like Elliott, will be between sets as we wait for new teeth to grow in. Josh’s special challenge with the braces was a bar put in near the roof of his mouth to push the back teeth away from each other. This stopped Josh from being able to lay his tongue against the roof of his mouth, and made eating peanut butter sandwiches (and the like) extremely difficult. Josh had this in while he was still attending speech therapy, so they worked with him a little bit on pronunciation. Not long afterwards, Josh “graduated” from all the therapy sessions (speech, occupational, physical). He still has some places where Mom and Dad can see needs for improvement, but he is now within normal bounds for his age. School, however, has not concluded in the same way. After two full afternoons of testing, they determined that Josh may have a reading problem (ya think?!). We progressed to a full meeting with the county to discuss whether Josh needed, or would qualify for special education. The end of the meeting determined that while he might qualify for special Ed, we felt there may be better resources for his specific needs in a regular class. (Missy’s time substituting in the special ed classes confirmed to her that while he struggles, he is not at that level of need). Josh has been working VERY hard this year. His teacher is very positive, and is able to keep him going, even when homework may take 4 hours. Josh’s hip continues to bother him, but not to the point that it stopped him from playing baseball with Elliott or soccer with Beth. After rounds and rounds of tests, and rounds of medicine to determine reactions, we have decided that this may be his unique way of experiencing growing pains. He has a cane that he uses, and we even purchased a wheel chair to be able to have long family walks, but otherwise he seems fine. Josh is in 4th grade now, and he, too, had the opportunity to play an orchestra instrument. Josh chose the viola. We got to go down, and see him with 140+ kids, all play the chorus of “Jingle Bells” and the first two stanzas of “Good King Wenceslas”. He looked very proud to be able to perform, and Missy and Jay couldn’t be more pleased to have another instrumentalist in the family.
Beth (8)
Beth is in 2nd grade, and has been attending “gifted” classes one full day each week. She loves school, but mostly loves these once-a-week classes. They give her appropriate challenges for her intellect. Her best friend in school is also in her gifted class. After three boys that struggled with early elementary school and reading, parenting an advanced girl has been a completely different parenting experience. We are truly challenged with how to keep her adequately entertained with material that is at her maturity level. She is not allowed to read books written at her reading level, because they’re for teenagers. She has been reading a number of her brother’s books. Last week, she did a chore so she could play video games, and then decided to pass on playing, because she just wanted to read some more. (None of the boys would EVER have done that). Beth was the one that really wanted to play soccer, and after we got her enrolled, Josh decided to play too. It was bumble-bee soccer, but she had a lot of fun, and even managed to score a goal one game. On Elliott and Josh’s baseball team, we had a couple of kids stop coming towards the end of the season, and we weren’t even able to fill the field. Beth, who had never played any baseball, volunteered to just stand in right field, and bat – and after her second inning, it looked like she’d been practicing with the team all summer. She still hasn’t learned to ride a bike – scooters are just as fun in her opinion. As good, upstanding modern-day parents that enroll their children in public school, we have been faithful in keeping up on all vaccinations. At times, it seems like the kids get vaccinated for the same thing every year. Despite this, Beth had the distinction of not only being vaccinated against chicken pox, but also of catching the chicken pox. It wasn’t a horrible case, but it was enough to keep her out of school for nearly a week. Where the boys would have rejoiced as the blessing from heaven, Beth just felt cursed all the way around. As you’ll have noticed, Beth turned 8 years old, and was our last baptism. She wore the same dress her aunts wore for their baptisms – thanks to Nana’s efforts to keep and preserve it. When she interviewed with the bishop to see if she was ready, he said that she was the most prepared eight-year old he’d ever interviewed. This is saying a lot from a man that has been a bishop three times, and is in his 6th year this time. Michael got his first DS game system when he was 10. We gave Elliott at DS at 9, because he had done so well in school in 2nd grade. Josh had to wait until he was 10. Beth, who has now been reading for 3 years – it just didn’t make sense to wait – so her diligence earned her one with her 8th birthday.
Bethany (9)
While Michael was still living with us, a family moved in up the street (just 2 doors away). They had a son named Josh and a girl named Bethany. We laughed at the similarity, as Bethany became a regular visitor at our house to play. After about a year, Bethany’s Mom separated from her husband, and then got orders to deploy to Afghanistan. This left Bethany (and her brother Josh, 15 yrs old) without anyone to watch over them. Josh’s 18-year old sister came down to Georgia to help him, but it was clear she was not able to take care of the 7-year old girl. Out of her mom’s increasingly desperate situation, and out of sincere concern for her well-being in any other situation, we agreed to take care of Bethany while her mom was deployed. This included many weeks with us during the summer and fall months of 2012 as her mom went away for training events to get ready for the deployment. In January of 2013, Bethany moved in full-time with us, and her mom shipped off to Afghanistan. Her mom was due back “around Christmas”, and Missy and Jay just prepared that would probably carry into late January of 2014. Despite our pessimism, her mom actually returned early, the weekend before Thanksgiving of this year. It has been an interesting time, even bringing her with us to Wyoming for Grandpa Haderlie’s funeral. Now she is back home with her mom, and very happy to have things back “to normal”. We’re still trying to adjust, as we went from down from 4 kids to 3 when Michael moved out, back up to 4 when Bethany moved in and now back down to 3. Our child counting skills are still a little off (we’re still setting the table for 6 more often than not.)
Our English Pointer is no longer our English Pointer. We had a bad incident where she (while on leash), got a neighbor’s cat (off leash, hiding in some bushes) and killed it. It was eventually decreed that we could not continue to have her in the housing community on base, and we had to get rid of her, or move out. Missy found a woman who works for the Salvation Army in hospice care whose dog had just died. She became Echo’s new owner, and we settled back into being a dog-free family. Eventually, time healed the wounds of her absence, and in the spring of 2013, we got another dog, Zora. Zora was a pound-puppy, and appears to be a mix between a Cairn terrier, and possibly a black lab. She is not nearly the athlete Echo was, but is much better sized and has a temperament more appropriate for the apartment/suburban lifestyle we have. She has also figured out the family routines, and is bothered when she doesn’t get a car ride to school on Saturday mornings, and paces near the door just before the kids are due home from the bus each afternoon. She is probably most proficient as expressing her morning “need” to be fed, as soon as the first alarm rings, or the first person stirs in bed. Where she is much smaller than Echo, and Elliott had time to get used to Echo, he has adapted to Zora pretty well. Josh totally adores her, even taking her for walks and picking up her poop. Beth loves having a dog in the house. Jay just tried to be polite about it all.
In closing
So, we didn’t talk about buying a new car, spending time with Missy’s sister during her husband’s deployment, science projects for all of the boys, any of Bethany’s activities, piano lessons, and a whole host of other things. We are always glad to hear from each of you and are so happy for the holiday spirit, which is simply an extenuation of the Spirit of Jesus Christ. May you deepen your relationship with your Savior during this time of year, and we look forward to everything the coming year has to offer you and us. Until next year, Best Wishes, from our family to yours…. Jay, Missy, Michael, Elliott, Josh, Beth, (and Zora the dog)
